Sutures
by Maze Pha'len
Summary: Naruto followed behind the nurse, letting her lead him. But he knew which room he was moving toward, knew with sickening certainty which door he would open. He'd been here before, on many occasions, all of them the same.


Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda, I don't own Naruto or its characters, something clever, all that jazz.

When you get to the part, think Kimimaru's hospital bed. And for those of you don't know, sutures are stitches.

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"Come in," the nurse said, holding the door open. Naruto nodded gravely, and turned back to Hinata, his wife.

"I'll... this may be a while," he said, in a serious whisper. Hinata nodded. When it came to fragments of the past, Naruto would be serious. And she would let him.

She sat down on the waiting bench as the white hospital door swung closed, putting Naruto on the other side of a door marked INTENSIVE CARE UNIT.

Naruto followed behind the nurse, letting her lead him. But he knew which room he was moving toward, knew with sickening certainty which door he would open. He'd been here before, on many occasions, all of them the same.

"She really clings to life," the nurse said. "Five years ago today, and those wounds still refuse to close. And yet she still refuses to... pass on..."

He had the distinct feeling that the nurse had meant "she still refuses to die." He was certain that she had said it in the safe confines of her own head, but Naruto said nothing. The memory of five years ago came flooding back to him, the memory of blood.

Her blood.

He stopped walking, stopped moving forward as the nurse slowly reached out and grabbed the handle of the door marked 319 ICU. He felt the cold air rush out to meet him, the faint smell of old and new and dried blood meeting him as the nurse stepped out of the way. Naruto closed his eyes, gathered his courage, and stepped forward, through the threshold and into the room, like he had so many times before.

The room was rank with the smell of antiseptic, of chemical clean, and yet, the faint yet omnipresent scent of decay. Not decay of flesh, but of will, of spirit. And it was cold. Too cold for comfort. As the door hushed shut, it was very clear that the only living thing in the room was Naruto.

There is a big difference between living and being alive, he remembered as his blue eyes landed on the hospital bed.

"Hello," Naruto said softly, "Sakura."

The body of Haruno Sakura made no movements to confirm that she had heard anything at all. Naruto had no idea if she was conscious, her eyes and forehead were covered by a square scroll with a large circular seal on it. Wires and cords ran from her body to instruments and monitors. They showed she was alive, but Naruto could only assume that she was conscious.

Maybe not, he thought, it wouldn't be the first time I came to visit her and she wasn't awake...

"Sakura...-san...?" he whispered, then repeated it louder. No change, just the steady shallow rise and fall of her chest, as her lungs filled with what little air they could.

"It's... It's me, Naruto-kun," he said. He didn't know what else to say. He never did.

He pulled the small stool to him, and sat in front of her bed. Not next to it, as he used to. It was a sign that they had grown apart in her absence...

"Five years," he said, "Five years since that day where you..."

FLASH. Naruto was racing forward, chasing something, something in the distance. No, he thought, no I must reach him before... before...

FLASH. Other Nin, lying in pools of their own blood. Naruto had gazed on their faces, either full of pain or completely, horrifyingly empty. Must move past this, must catch up!

He was getting closer as he ran. He could feel Sakura's chakra move closer. She was still chasing him, she hadn't caught him. He had been the cause of this destruction, this death all around him...

FLASH. Naruto felt a surge of energy just ahead of him.

FLASH. A clearing just ahead. Naruto stopped dead in his tracks, gazing in terror at the scene that lay before him.

Sasuke had his hand inside her chest, electricity still crackling from the wound. Her blood was gushing out, all over his hand, a smirk on his face.

Her eyes were full of tears, but not of pain. Of betrayal, eyes that had the scars of betrayal etched deep into them. And just as suddenly as he had attacked her, those scars had reopened with a force more powerful than any one of Sasuke's Chidori.

Naruto's fists clenched, and he prepared to dash forward, when Sasuke pointed two fingers at him, and Naruto found himself bound by an invisible force. His chakra nullified, Naruto fell to the earth, and stood in horror as Sasuke threw a helpless, paralyzed and horrified Sakura against a tree fifteen yards away. Before she could scream and hit the ground, he had already joined her wrist with the tree, forcing a kunai into her arm above her.

SCREAM!

Sasuke yelled at her as she hung four feet from the ground by her wrist. Blood flowed from the wound, down her arm, and got lost somewhere in her hair. Sasuke grabbed her other arm and bent it backwards, breaking the elbow with a sickening snap. Another kunai married her wrist to the trunk of the tree, behind her, wrapping around unnaturally.

SCREAM!

Her eyes streamed with tears, but it seemed that they had nothing to do with her crucifixion. Sasuke screamed at her again, bit his finger to draw blood, and slammed his hand to the ground. In a puff of smoke a large draconic being appeared, slowly transforming itself into a spear, with a cruel, jagged crescent moon blade at the end. He slowly traced the blade from the wrist above her head, down her arm. The cut seemed to smolder and burn as it cut into her flesh, and the blood began to flow.

Naruto remembered her face. The blood seemed to flow past her hair, and onto her face, her own blood trickling down to her eyes. It looked as though she were crying blood, crying her own blood. With mirth in his eyes, eyes that watched the blood with a hungry sense of pleasure, Sasuke raised the spear and brought it down. The slash ranged from her left shoulder to her right side, all the way through her chest, her stomach...

FLASH. Naruto was standing over Sasuke's body. No. Not over.

In.

His foot had forced its way through Sasuke's sternum, and blood gushed freely. Sasuke coughed thrice, and his eyes emptied themselves of light.

Naruto vomited, out of pain and revulsion. He had no memory of what had happened, but turned to see Sakura, nailed to the tree. She stared at him with pain and shock and betrayal. And only then did she scream, only then did she scream. Only then, at the sight of Naruto covered in Sasuke's blood.

FLASH. "The raid was a success," Tsunade said, "We kept Orochimaru from acquiring Sasuke's body. He escaped, but it was a success."

Tears streamed down Naruto's face, and he was back, back in the room with Sakura. The Sakura that had never uttered a single scream of pain until she saw her loved one die, saw her loved one's blood covering the forest floor, covering her, covering Naruto. The Sakura that refused to die.

"They say you'll never recover," he whispered, sobbing silently. "They say your wounds rip themselves open again. They say the infernal nature of the wounds cause them to open again and again and you can't regain your strength!"

She didn't reply. She didn't even move. Naruto wanted to rid himself of this vicegrip on his heart, on his emotions. Every time he came here, he relived that day five years ago. He relived the day that Konoha attacked Orochimaru's fortress to retrieve Sasuke. He saw her, saw those eyes, heard her screams.

Every time he came here he killed his best friend.

Every time he came here he crucified himself for her.

He crucified himself with the guilt he felt.

"Why don't you just die?" he whispered bitterly. "Your wounds open again and again, and you'll never heal."

Silence. Only the sound of a twenty-year-old man's tears hitting the cold, lifeless linoleum hospital floor broke the silence.

"This is my punishment. You'll never let me forget."

Silence.

"I will come here until you die, and I will be forced to remember. Because your wounds open themselves. Your wounds never close."

Silence.

"Why can't you let me go? Why can't you wake up and say 'It's enough'?"

Silence.

Naruto considered killing her himself. He considered it every time he came. This was hell, this room was hell, and she was the devil.

"Heal," he begged, "heal, Sakura, and I won't be forced to be tortured here. Please..."

He knew she hadn't heard him. She would've said something, ANYthing.

Naruto stood, wiped his eyes, took one last look at the prone figure of what had been his friend, his teammate...

...so long ago...

...And opened the door, closing it behind him.

Finally alone, Sakura slowly began tearing out the sutures.


End file.
